Back to Basics

With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it is so easy for everyone to get caught up in the big things. The decorations, the presents, the presentation. While all of these things make Christmas (and life in general) a little more fun and a lot more sparkly, I had an ah-ha moment a couple nights ago. I've already preached blogged about how Christmas isn't about money or gifts, and I stand by that. But what I didn't mention? Is that life isn't about money or gifts either. And sometimes I need to stop and remind myself of this. Try and stay with me on this one...

I started a new job last week and am working 3 days a week at it, while still working 2 days a week at my old job. Fortunately it's with the same company, but the positions couldn't be more different. I love my new job and I am so grateful for it, but this transitioning and switching back and forth between the two? It's taking a lot out of me. I come home mentally drained. I love learning all of these new things but at the same time it's hard. My brain is going crazy trying to balance new responsibilities with old responsibilities. And this is my excuse. My excuse for being a less than ideal wife.

My husband has mentioned in the past few weeks that I have been distant. I've been out of it. I think the preparing for the new job, starting the new job, combined with the holiday crazies has made me this way. Well, I guess I can't really blame all of that, because when it really comes down to it, it's about me and the way I handle these things. But moving on.

My heart was heavy because of Shawn telling me I had been distant, so I sent him a text (while in the same room as him, mind you) and asked him if he wanted to go upstairs and just spend time together instead of watching TV with my family. I doubt I have to tell you how hard it is to be married in someone else's home, and while we are so entirely grateful that my dad and step mom have let us stay here while we get back on our feet, it's still just hard. We came from our own place and had to move into someone else's. We went from having alone time all the time to hardly ever having alone time. So I was relieved and happy when he headed upstairs after reading my text. Once upstairs? We just laid there and talked. And cuddled. And spent time with one another.

It was so nice to ignore all the worries, responsibilities, and holiday crazies. We took it back to the important stuff. Back to basics, if you will. It reminded me of how we were when we first started dating. I feel like after you are with a person for a while you get in a routine. Loving almost becomes a habit. And while love is certainly something that is important to me and that I'd like to keep constant in my life and in my relationship, a habit is not what I want for my marriage. So now I have this new mission. Love out of intention. Pure and simple love.

So now with Christmas just around the corner, and the New Year following close behind, I want to go ahead and put this out there as my "resolution". Except it's something that I'm going to start with now. I want to take it back to basics in my life. I want to push all the "for show" aside and really remember what first attracted me to my husband, why I first "clicked" with my best friends, and why family really should come first.

5K Motivation

As I have mentioned before, I am new to the running world. I'm not in love with it, but I can honestly say I don't hate it anymore. It has, as promised by veteran runners, gotten easier. And some days? I actually look forward to a run.

On Saturday I completed my second 5K. It feels great to know how far I've come. But what I like most about runs? The feeling afterward. Also, the encouragement I get from some pretty awesome people in my life. My husband, my mom, and some great friends I've made through the Internet.

Shawn is a natural athlete. He is agile, fast, and strong... basically everything that I'm not. He is an Army vet and has crazy drive and determination. He has been the best trainer I could ever ask for and has been so supportive of me. He pushes me when I don't want to be pushed. I might yell and cuss and complain sometimes, but I know he has my best interest in mind. And for that, I am grateful. I couldn't have gotten this far without his help. Also? Working out with your spouse is definitely a relationship booster. It has given us something to relate on. We may not always agree on what movie to watch, what store our money is best spent in, or what we do for fun in our free time... but now we have this common goal to live a healthy lifestyle and that? Is amazing.

 

My mom. How can a girl even start when it comes to how her mom has supported her? Let's just stick to health-motivation for this post so things don't get all sappy. If you asked anyone a year ago if my mom and I would ever run a 5K together you would have gotten a fit of laughter instead of a solid answer. Today I can proudly say that that is no longer the case.

Last year my mom got bit by the work out bug when she signed up to join Shawn in the Tough Mudder. In the middle of her training she had to have major surgery but that didn't slow her down one bit. In fact, it made her stronger. I watched her as she finished a 12 mile obstacle course run last April and I couldn't have been prouder. Since then I've also cheered her on through multiple races, including a triathlon.

About a month ago she invited me to participate in a "casual" 5K run. I figured since I was running an "official" 5K in a couple weeks I might as well try to see how far I still had to go. That day? I ran my first 5K alongside of my mom. She had to slow her pace because of me (she IS 8 inches taller than me, no lie) but she went slower for me. To help me. And seeing my mom running a couple steps ahead of me was quite the motivation. She then ran in my first official 5K with me a couple weeks later. I made sure she ran at her own pace this time, which was fine with me, since I had her there at the finish line cheering for me. What an awesome experience. And this April? We will be completing the Tough Mudder together. No more spectator tickets for me ;)

Katie and Susan are two amazing sisters. Seriously, they've lost over 100 lbs. together this year (for real!). It's safe to say they have not only been a motivator when it comes to Weight Watchers, but also when it comes to running.

Susan ran her first 5K a few months ago, and when I sent her encouraging words via Twitter after she finished, I can distinctly remember her responding that the next one I was going to run with her. She didn't ask, she told. I had been waiting for that push. I needed that push. She doesn't know this, but last year Shawn and I made a Bucket List. On it? I said I wanted to run a 5K. And after her encouragement I couldn't think of any more excuses. So I signed up when I could barely run 1 mile straight. Then I found out Katie also signed up. Katie has also been a huge inspiration to me. I knew it would be an awesome experience to run in the same race with the girls that have been such a huge support for me throughout my Weight Watchers journey. I relate to these girls. They help me, motivate me, and inspire me. And I'm thankful for them.

I don't think I would have made it this far without any of these wonderful people's encouragement. So to everyone that has pushed me, motivated me, and kept me going: Thank you. Whether you are listed here or not, I am thankful for you. Your kind words are greatly appreciated.

If you want, please head over to Katie's blog to read her post on motivators and to see a few pictures from Saturday's 5K. I can pretty much echo everything she wrote, so instead of sounding like a broken record, I encourage you to read what she has to say.

Happy running ;)

Thankful

I started this blog right after I began a gratitude journal back in September. For this Thanksgiving, I want to list the things I have been thankful for on a daily basis over the last couple of months...

Our military, firefighters, police force; Hot showers; Health & safety; The Internet; Borrowing clothes; Future goals that make us work harder; The gym & my desire to live a more healthy lifestyle; Shawn going back to school; My blog - a new outlet for my memories and thoughts; Good haircuts; Finding things you need on sale; Weight Watchers; My counselor; Jeans that fit just right; Friday!; Fall weather; Alone time with Shawn; A good friend's pregnancy; Family nap time; Weekly & activity points so I can splurge; Nice emails from Mom Mom; Warm, soft blankets; Chipotle; The Phillies; Isaac - my snuggle buddy; Free antibiotics from Wegmans; Co-ed softball league; Borrowing instead of buying; Old friends; Zumba; Chocolate milk; Compliments; Dinner dates without phones; Nights alone with our little family; My husband; Weddings & love; The cross-trainer; Steak; Meetings that get me away from my desk at work; Willpower to say no to pastries at the meetings; Good health benefits; Delicious pastries (Note: I like how the very next day I was thankful for the very same pastries that I said no to the day before, hehe); Old pictures & memories, A fresh start each day; My college degree; A flexible boss; Phillies in the playoffs; Jeans day at work; Perfect Fall weather; High school friends; Fleece-lined sweatpants; Lazy days; Giving myself a break from my diet without feeling guilty; Supportive friends; Hair color; Being able to run a mile without stopping (10/6/11); Socks; Goals: 5K in November & Tough Mudder in April; Shawn motivating me; Movies that make you appreciate life; Restaurant.com dates; New clothes; Church; Beautiful days; Running; "She is clothes with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." Proverbs 31:25; Pinterest; Budget plans; Running 1.5 miles without stopping (10/11/11), Support: both giving & receiving; Up All Night; Rain that cancels softball games when I don't want to play; Self control while shopping; Fiber One Brownies; Supportive WW leader; Weekend plans with friends; Word FM Radio; The reminder to put others first & myself second; Relaxing TV nights; Toms; Happy Adoption Day, Isaac!; New Camelbak water bottle; Fruit; Vick's VapoRub; NyQuil; Cookie/brownie/oreo dessert; 2 lb. weight loss; No weekend plans; My weddings rings - re-sized!; Bahama Breeze; Pizza Bingo at work; Reconnecting with friends; Recipes; New running gear; Peruvian food - El Serrano (thanks Katie!), 3 mile run! (11/13/11); Twitter; Quality time; Confidence about an interview; Getting the job!; God; Supportive "cheerleaders"; My first official 5K (33:50 - 11/19/11); Weight loss compliments, My grandparents.

I know, a long list. And believe it or not I didn't write every day. But what does this tell me? I have a lot to be thankful for. A lot to be grateful for. Silly things, serious things, awesome people.

It is hard to believe that at the beginning of the year Shawn and I both lost our jobs. 11 months later, we have come so far and I am so thankful for everyone and everything that has brought us to where we are today.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Enjoy!

Running

I am not a runner. In fact, I suck at running. But I'd like to change that. And I'm slowly working towards a few goals to make that happen. A common theme in the blog/twitter/facebook realm seems to be putting goals out there for everyone to read. This serves as a good motivation and is a great accountability method. I need all of that I can get so I'm following suit and putting my goals out there on the Internet so then I have to make it happen.

First up: My first 5K run on November 19th. I set this as a goal for myself around this time last year and never made it happen. This time? It's happening. And I'm lucky enough to be able to run it with some pretty amazing people. My husband, my mom, my coworker/friend Ashley, as well as two fantastic blogger ladies that have both been a huge inspiration for me throughout my Weight Watchers journey.

Training has been going well so far. Luckily for me my husband IS a runner. In fact? He can run lots of miles without stopping and his next goal is a half marathon... something I can only dream of (although it sounds like a bad dream to me right now). Shawn has been my motivator and my trainer, and I am so grateful for that. Slowly but surely he is turning his wife into a runner too.

Now for my ultimate goal. I am going to compete in the Tough Mudder in April 2012. I'd like to dedicate an entire post to this goal though, so in the meanwhile go ahead and take a look at the website and tell me how crazy awesome I am.

Happy Weekend!

The Story of Us

One Monday night in June after slaving retail hours I met my Dad and my friend Katie out at a local burger place for dinner and a few drinks. I was still swearing off guys at this point and had no interest in anything other than having fun and living my single life. Across the bar sat a seemingly good-looking guy wearing a hat. My friend Katie kept nudging me saying, "Ashley, that guy keeps looking over here! He's hot!" Being the newly carefree bad ass that I was I quickly snapped back, "I can't even see his face with that stupid hat over his eyes."

Fast forward to the next night, Tuesday (see I told you I was living the party life... two week nights out at two different bars. Who was I?!). It was karaoke night at another local bar. I met Katie and a group of friends out. It was my turn to buy our group a round of drinks but the bar was full. I hesitantly tapped on a random guy's shoulder (hesitantly because he was sitting with a girl) to ask him to get the bartender's attention. He puts his hand up, waves, the bartender sees him, brings him another beer, and then disappears. "Damn, I was about to leave, I didn't even want another drink!" says the guy. I told him not to worry about it and that I'd pay for it since he was trying to help me out.

The next thing he says... "Hey, weren't you at Cheeseburger in Paradise last night?" I flash back through my mind. Oh my goodness, it's the guy in the hat! "Oh yeah! I think I saw you there!" He wasn't wearing a hat tonight and I could clearly see he was not only seemingly good-looking but actually was full-blown good-looking. We talked the rest of the night and exchanged numbers since he was new to the area and looking to meet cool people (which obviously, I was. Ha.) Oh, and that girl he was with? Just a friend. He thought she was a cool person too but it turns out she was pretty lame.

Moving on, it turned out we were both single as of 8 months ago. I knew I was going back to Arizona in a few months so I really wasn't looking for anything more than a friendship. He didn't want anything serious either. Except, you know what happens to plans? Yeah. It got serious. So in September we drove cross-country together from PA to AZ to take me, my car, and my belongings back to ASU.

Denver, CO - one of our stops on our cross-country trip

One of Shawn's trips to AZ

One of my trips home to PA

At this point we were both a little hesitant since our relationship was so new. Long distance after only dating a couple months? Yeah right. I still had 1.5 years of college left (I was on the 5 year plan since I transferred and lost a ton of credits). But, it worked. I flew home and/or he flew to Arizona each month. The long distance sucked but we made it work. We got through it. It wasn't easy, but we did it. And now we're married, so overall I'd call that a success story.

Shawn is the most hard-working, motivated, and self-sufficient person I have ever met in my entire life. He has drive like you wouldn't believe. The word "can't" does not exist in his vocabulary. Failure is not an option for him. Like I said, he's a rule-breaker and does not let anyone hold him back. He has given me motivation and drive that I didn't even know I had in me. He makes me want to be a better person. We balance each other out like crazy yet in some ways we are so similar it's scary. I married Shawn not only for the man he is today, but for the father I know he will be in the future. Our story is still relatively new, but I am really looking forward to all the chapters yet to come.

Back Stories

On my way to work on yesterday morning I kept thinking about my husband and how I wanted to write a blog post about him, and about us. Before I get into our story, here is each of our back stories.

Her Story
I was born and raised in the upper-middle class suburbs of Philadelphia, PA. My senior year of high school I decided I needed a change. I was sick of suburbia and wanted to experience the real world. So, I started my college years at Temple University (in the heart of North Philadelphia - about as diverse and opposite of suburbia as it comes). I was at Temple for two years before I decided to follow my high school boyfriend to Arizona State University. After over four years of being together, we promptly broke up about three months after I arrived in the Grand Canyon State (that is totally an entire blog post for another day).

Fast forward three more months, and I turned the wonderful age of 21 in February. Being newly single and newly legal, I went through quite a party girl stage. Needless to say, once the semester let out in May and I was back home in Pennsylvania for the summer, I was on the loose ready to have a little fun. The very last thing on my mind was a boyfriend and I was solely focused on having fun with my friends.

I had re-figured my life out after my original plan to be with my high school boyfriend 4eva fell through (thank the LORD because honestly, what was I thinking?). You see, I'm a planner by nature, so I had it all set that I was swearing off guys and was going to wait until after college to start dating anyone again. Funny thing about plans? They don't always work out. 

Me, Summer 2007

His Story
Shawn's story starts in North Carolina. He was literally raised on a farm and is a true country boy at heart. He had never loved his hometown and knew he had to get out. He was ready for a change. A friend offered him a job in Annapolis, Maryland so he packed up and left. Literally, he was offered the job on a Tuesday, quit his current job on a Friday, and moved to Maryland on a Sunday. That's Shawn's style. He's a rebel (sexy right?).

His mama always told him not to join the military (he joined without even consulting with her first and let her know he was leaving for boot camp in a matter of days), don't fly on airplanes because they crash (he was Airborne in the Army and not only flew on planes but jumped out of them), and don't marry a Yankee girl (just kidding on that one...I hope). Anyway. He quickly proved himself and moved up the ranks in the company and was offered a promotion in Pennsylvania. Not one to turn an opportunity down, he took the offer and began living in a hotel in the suburbs of Philadelphia where he knew no one. He didn't really have a plan except to succeed, and that's all he really needed.

Shawn, Summer 2007

Check back tomorrow for the story on how we met...

Latitude

According to dictionary.com, latitude is defined a couple different ways...

1. Geography .

a. the angular distance north or south from the equator of a point on the earth's surface, measured on the meridian of the point.

b. a place or region as marked by this distance.

2. freedom from narrow restrictions; freedom of action, opinion, etc.

Both of these definitions mean a great deal to me.

I'm a traveler. I'll go anywhere you ask me to go with a smile on my face. One of my favorite places I've ever been is Annapolis, MD.

Downtown Annapolis Sunset

 Annapolis holds many favorable memories for me. It's the first place my husband ever took me on a trip.

One of our first pictures together in June 2007, Annapolis, MD

It's also a place that I've met some wonderful people who have become amazing friends. Annapolis is a different atmosphere and I love the nautical feel and old town appeal. Most of all, it's beautiful. All of the above reasons and more are why Shawn and I consider this one of our favorite places to go.

So one day in 2009 while driving around, we started joking about getting "matching" tattoos. We quickly nixed getting names or dates but still wanted to do something meaningful. We decided on the latitude & longitude of Annapolis, MD.

His ribs

My foot (needs retouching, don't judge)

The second definition of latitude goes deeper than a place and numerical coordinates. Freedom. To me, this means freedom to be who we are truly capable of being and accepting who we truly are. Letting go of the restrictions that hold us back whether they be physical, mental, emotional, whatever. Sometimes our latitude is where we need the most help. It's where we're slacking but have the ability to better ourselves. It's also where we recognize our shortcomings and accept ourselves for who we really are, flaws and all.

Both definitions of latitude include a journey and a destination. One is physical while the other is more spiritual. Both of these are important in my life and I'm grateful for all of my "travels" whether they be external or internal.

What does latitude mean to you? Have you ever thought about it as the second definition?